needing all the nonsense shook out.
in inspiration, quotes
Love wants to reach out and manhandle us,
Break all our teacup talk of God.
If you had the courage and could give the Beloved His choice,
Some nights He would just drag you around the room by your hair,
Ripping from your grip all those toys in the world
That bring you no joy.
Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly
And wants to rip to shreds all your erroneous notions of truth
That make you fight within yourself, dear one,
And with others,
Causing the world to weep on too many fine days.
God wants to manhandle us,
Lock us up in a tiny room with Himself
And practice His dropkick.
The Beloved sometimes wants to do us a great favor:
Hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.
But when we hear He is in such a "playful drunken mood"
Most everyone I know quickly packs their bags
And hightails it out of town.
Hafiz
an escape from utah. for just a moment. while i dream of the east and beaches.
i'm dreaming of a white, wood-panneled house. atop a hill--a sloping hill that abuts the atlantic.
there will be the requisite white picket fence. a white picket fence in front of our white, wood-panneled home. and there will be bikes. bikes just there--by the gate. mine will be robin's egg blue. it will have high-handlebars and a wicker basket. it will get me to the grocery store and to the library. to the small single-room movie theatre and down to the beach. on sunday mornings i will bunch up my dress and pray that the spokes don't grab hold of my hem before church. and my kennedy-of-a-husband and i will race down the hill to our favorite coffee shop. and there we will spend the lazy summer mornings wondering how it is anyone ever finishes the new york times crossword puzzle. scratch that--i will sit, watching in wonder as he not only finishes the puzzle, but does so correctly, all the while laughing lovingly at my ridiculous suggestions.
oh, today i'm dreaming of summers on the cape. and a life that's just a stone's throw away.
photo on Cape Cod, summer of 1969
sundance, waterfalls, and the tree room dream.
this saturday the gorgeous Bev showed me the part of utah i've been longing to see since the day i arrived. and suddenly i think i might never leave. everything's better up in the mountains (girl talk included. who am i kidding? especially, girl talk!). i'm thinking of taking up residence in any of the several multi-million dollar homes nestled into the foliage. in fact, if i hang around long enough, maybe robert (redford) and i might just strike up a friendship.
now i'm thinking of all the different ways to convince my father to take my mother and me to the tree room when they come to visit in just over a month.
the grocery store.
yesterday i rode my bike to the grocery store for asparagus and mascara.
two things all girls must have.
i headed to the produce and became giddy with excitement upon finding ultra-thin stalks (best for crisping in the oven).
and then worked my way over to cosmetics.
there i stood in front of the wall of wands. overwhelmed by variety i reached for the old standard: thin wand, conservative length extension.
but then something caught my eye. the new falsies mascara. you know, the mascara that promises eyelashes so big that they actually look fake. but who wants fake looking lashes, right? only loose women would want such a thing.
loose women, i say!
and yet.
maybe, just maybe i might want such a thing.
maybe, just maybe i stood in front of that wall of wands and reminded myself that this summer is an experiment. on all fronts. so why not try? why not try the one mascara that seems most inconsistent with my own loosely cobbled self-image?
and so i got it.
and the summer pedals on.