in

today is the first day of october.

the start of october ushers in my favorite time of the year.

perhaps it is the feel of the air. the sense of new beginnings and hope. perhaps it is the celebration of my birthday. or that it begins the path to thanksgiving and christmas.

i'm not sure precisely what it is, i'm just glad that it is here.



found in an old journal.

in

why is it that i cannot write about loving him?


i can write about green tennis shoes. or a baseball hat worn aslant. i can write about exposed brick walls and the movie rushmore. sitting on opposite ends of the couch with too much to say sitting just between us. or street fighter and nick drake. i can write about dark theaters and hanging pony-tails. long-narrow corridors with well-worn floors.

i can write about all these things--all these parts. but i cannot write about him.

and because i cannot write about him, i cannot write about love.




lovely ladies.

in

i'm so glad to be back here in the city.

truly, i couldn't be happier.

to be in my own bed. to walk the streets that my feet know so well. to watch the sun rise over the hudson.

and yet. i have found that i am homesick. for the lazy days spent in the car with my mother. and the lazier evenings gathered round the living room table, eating simple foods and watching summer re-runs. homesick for my family, really.

so when on this past saturday morning i got the chance to surround myself with strong, independent, courageous, women--all friends, i thought, well these ladies, they're family too. homesickness, be gone!

lovely ladies in the city

women in white


it was perfection. let it be known, i would like to do this every saturday.



ps: i don't like to brag. but...
i totally spent my saturday with
these blogging superstars:
rockstar naomi (who really is as gorgeous pregnant as you think she is)
natalie of (no) sex and the city fame (who really is as fun as you think she is)
and nat the fat rat (who is nine months pregnant, celebrating a birthday this week, and who i couldn't be happier to welcome to the upper west side)



a post that feels a bit like housework (but also another song--and this one's even better).

in

there is a baby actually screaming across the courtyard (to the point that i want to go over and help, or ask them to close their window). and i can hear the tea kettle whistling in someone's apartment. i love the yellow glow of lights early in the morning when the sky is still gray. the clatter of spoons against mugs and bowls. the preparation, readying for the day. oh, the morning.

i'm preparing for a long day of dentist, followed by pursuit of a job with some steady income, followed by babysitting.

so instead of writing a post, i leave you with this:

(i don't mean to be on a music kick, but this is one of the most beautiful songs i've heard in a long, long time {so for the love of pete (of pete's sake fame) listen to it}).



i do promise to post later today (something more than a music video). so check back. i'll update you on my weekend and i'm trying to write down some thoughts on what it means to be back in new york after my time away in utah.


enjoy this wednesday!


(ps: the baby has stopped screaming. phew.)