montclair for the weekend. dreaming of a life.

new york became too much for me this week. it often does, but something about this week did me in. so i headed to montclair, nj (just twenty minutes from the city by bus) for a home-cooked meal, a real look at some fall foliage, and family time.

montclair

spider tree

trees on fire

halloween

sweedish sugar cake


every time i get off the bus i breathe a little easier. the air is inevitably cooler and fresher and the tree-lined-streets sing me song after song as my feet crunch their way to my aunt and uncle's home. it is a town made for halloween decorations and thanksgiving turkey platters as much as for summer evenings and pick-up baseball games. i love it more each time i go. and i dream of living there. raising a family there. it is respite that speaks to the very recesses of my soul.


1. along the path from the bus to my family's home. 
2. the foliage in front of this house is always overwhelming. 
3. trees on fire.
4. i couldn't get over the halloween directions.
5. the sweedish sugar cake my aunt made to celebrate my birthday. delightful, in every possible way. (i had two mammoth slices). 


(i like the way olivia rae details her pictures with numbers, so i am indeed following her lead in this format). 

finding my way back. and searching for my groove again (you know, the one that stella got back all that time ago).

yesterday was the eighth day of the never-ending-cold.

and so i awoke. depressed.

no, no, not depressed with a capitol "d", more just off,  down-in-the-dumps, a little... out-of-sorts.

i'd lost my mojo (blogging-mojo included {maybe, most especially my blog-mojo}).

it had been a week of runny noses, scratchy throats, undeniable sinus pressure and a strange sense of nausea coupled with hunger--that was the worst! the inability to identify my own sense of hunger. or lack thereof. and so my eating was all askew.

but after a trip to the minute-clinic and a prescription to combat what i was told was a sinus infection i willed myself to trader joes' knowing that on this, the eighth day, a good dinner was gonna make or break me.

i needed something tasty and healthy but with a little kick.

so while at trader joe's i picked up the mahi mahi fish burgers, their pre-made guacamole, and some produce to fill it all out.

i could live on those mahi burgers alone. i know this would not be a good idea for a myriad of reasons, but i love those things--for the not-so-long-ago-burger-queen anything in the shape of the patty speaks to some deep recess of my soul.

but the mahi patty alone would not suffice.


the bits that make the guac


so i pulled out a frozen trader joe's pre-made guacamole, ran it under some warm water to thaw it out, and chopped grapes, grape tomatoes, and cilantro to my heart's content (all while watching modern family). i really like the guacamole as is, but the chance to add in some more veggies cannot be ignored. veggies and a little squeeze of a lime? yes, please. thickens it up and adds nutritional value.


guacamole


usually i'll just add the guac on top of the patty and call it a day. but i've been, as i said, down-in-the-dumps. so i sauteed some mushrooms in a little bit of butter for that extra something.

and so it went. mahi mahi patty. sauteed mushrooms. and guac on top.

mahi mahi


and my restorative dinner was made. and devoured.

followed by a massive, levain chocolate-walnut cookie.



i'm sorry that i've lost my blog-mojo. sorry that i've been inconsistent and scattered about this week of creating a new tab--one that focuses on health and feeding the whole body. but i am so grateful and excited by your responses and ideas. and happy to announce that the new tab label will be...drumroll please...FED. isn't it perfect? and simple? and the absolute best play-off of NED? there were so many good suggestions, but tiffany's just seemed so obvious (kind of the way brilliant books are obvious in that that they're genius and you wish you'd thought of them yourself). the FED series will continue, but will be interspersed with regular programming. it will provide recipes, ideas, suggestions, information, products (all through my slightly warped lens of course--and i definitely want to hear from you all). i just want to make it clear that FED will not be about weight loss. it will be about finding our natural body, learning to love the body we have, and being really smart about how we do that--especially in how we talk about it. 

eating meat. or not. and how it has nothing to do with weight.

last week i talked about how i place no restrictions on my diet and a very perceptive reader asked me if being a vegetarian is not exactly that, a form of restriction. 

what follows are my thoughts regarding this question.

5 napkin


texans know how to do meat. their barbecue is unparalleled. steaks? unlike anything you've before had. 
i grew up as the cheeseburger queen. it was the only choice when dining out. and i always, always finished my meal--quarter-pounders, half-pounders, full-pounders oh my!

the first time i thought about cutting meat out of my diet was just out of college. i found i wasn't eating much of the stuff, unless out at a restaurant. and so it became a little experiment: could i survive without meat? well, within two weeks i was a hop, skip, and a jump away from eating a stick of butter by its lonesome. butter, you ask? i know. i know, odd right? the fat. my body was missing the fat that comes along with meat. and so the experiment ended.

the second time i was in australia visiting my dear friend stephen and his then fiancee (now wife) miriam who was a vegan. miriam and i were walking along the harbor, the sky overcast, and the sydney opera house just a stone's throw away. and she explained that for her the choice to go vegan was primarily one of environmental concern. environmental, huh? 

a few months later i picked up jonathan safran foer's eating animals, an in-depth look at the factory-farming industry and what it really means to eat meat today. the book was eye-opening and alarming. and the decision to forgo meat was made for me.

i've seen friends go vegetarian. and i've seen friends go vegan. and i've seen many do it for weight-loss. it becomes a game, a challenge. and often they met with great success. but when weight-loss is the primary purpose meat returns, animal byproducts return, and so do the pounds.

cutting meat out of my diet was never, not once, about weight. it was about the consumption of hormones, the emission of greenhouse gasses. but because of my history i was careful not to define myself by the term vegetarian. in fact, i don't think i've ever once said here on this blog that i am in fact a vegetarian, choosing instead the phrase i don't eat meat, or i choose not to eat meat (most of the time) but if i get the urge i'm gonna answer. 

i'm gonna level with you. i like meat. i do. but i choose not to eat it because it's something i can do day after day that will have a positive impact on the environment. it's something i can do day after day that will make me feel good about myself. it has enabled me to think about food in terms larger than myself. 

being a vegetarian, for me, has nothing to do with restriction. nothing to do with weight or what i look like. it is simply this: the choice not to eat meat feeds me in a way that hamburgers and chicken breasts and ribs never will.



ps: anyone see portia di rossi on oprah today? she had some pretty amazing things to say about her struggle with anorexia and bulimia. especially there at the end discussing how she got better...how it had so much to do with allowing herself all foods in any amount. and love. always love. 

introducing...the potato.

potato

greek yogurt

bowl

about, oh, maybe a year ago i had this revelation: a potato is a vegetable! huzzah!

so when i began to introduce more fruits and vegetables into my diet the potato was this miracle.

to cook i clean the potato, poke holes all over (with a fork), coat in a tiny bit of butter and salt, and place in the oven at 450 degrees for an hour.

from there that potato becomes the proverbial oyster...you can put anything in it! i always go with greek yogurt (which in this context tastes like sour cream), kerrygold cheddar, and scallions.

when i'm looking to mix things up i'll add in refried beans, mushrooms, or avocado.

it's cheap, simple, and packed full of protein.



if we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.

ivan turgenev