plodding.

i couldn't get out of bed yesterday morning. the king of can't-get-out-of-bed where you feel like if you do you'll end up losing yesterday's lunch or find yourself collapsed on the bathroom floor. 

so i didn't. get out of bed. not really.

in fact the only things i accomplished yesterday was the chipping away at the bags under my eyes (as seen in the antler picture {sigh}), stringing the bottom half of my tree, scaring the ups delivery man (that's another story) and brushing my teeth. i was a sorry sight. it was a sorry day. 

but today: i'm up. the laundry is in the dryer. and i've already managed to shower. 

progress. 

and as i go about my day, getting all the many things done despite my desire to hide under the covers, i will allow the christmas decorations to spur me on--to keep me plodding about the manhattan streets. 

perhaps i'll count how many christmas trees i come across today...

to be alive at all is to have scars.

john steinbeck

a nook in the woods (i wish).

i'd like to escape to a little cabin in the woods today. 

to sleep. and sit. and drink. to feel the sunshine peeking through the canopy of trees. 

that is all: a little escape is my wish for the day (or maybe just a little more sleep).

photo by old chum on flickr

books and their nooks.

i slept last night. long and hard. 

and when i finally awoke this morning it was to the sound of pounding rain. pouring rain. pitter-patter-tap-tap-tapping rain.

glorious, glorious rain.

so i literally rolled out of bed taking my white duvet with me, cracked the window, and moved the reading chair just in front. 

and there i sat. with my book. listening and watching and feeling the cool, damp breeze.

and i gave thanks that i asked for both rain boots and an umbrella for christmas. because there's nothing quite like trying navigate the eccentricities of a new york rainstorm if you're ill prepared. 

and then i opened my book and disappeared. into another world. into another life.

i haven't read a book since late last may. i wasn't able to this summer. picked up many, but just couldn't do it. and so it continued through until now, december. a six month reading block. and knowing this period must come to a close i picked up a book that i'd read before. and decided to begin there.

and suddenly, with book in hand, the train ride seems bearable. and waking up on sunday mornings to a world of white seems poignant: a blank canvas to fill with a story between my hands.

don't ever let me go this long again without falling into a book. i'm a far better person when i'm living in two worlds--this one and the one gifted to me by an author with imagination and empathy. 

fed: product placement

i woke up exhausted this morning. so exhausted that after i poured my first cup of coffee, i left the coffee maker on, knowing i might go back for a second.

today will be hard. the hardest day of the week. from job number one to job number two. all day. and i will be wiped. and when i reach this level of exhaustion i tend to overeat. i know this now. i didn't know this before. i'd be eating and eating and eating and think, why am i eating? and after a lot of work and the help of some very smart people i was able to identify that i sometimes mix the signals (read: very often mix the signals). in fact, i would say, eighty percent of the time when i'm overeating and i'm not sure why (meaning it's not anxiety or fear or trying to push away some uncomfortable emotion--or the inevitable i'll-eat-more-because-i've-already-eaten-so-much guilt) it is exhaustion or thirst. crossed-wires if you will.

so today i just know that i need to be aware. and a little careful.

i've already promised myself a cab ride home tonight (ah, the luxury) and a saturday morning of sleeping in for however long i'd like--the promise of these things will help me avoid any kind of a meltdown (i hope).

but until then i'd thought i'd share some products i really like--products that taste good, make me feel good, and keep me on a healthy track.

i'm a snacker. this much you should know. if given the chance, i'd nosh on snacks always. so, many of these fall into that snack category...




when i get that urge for chocolate, instead of reaching for the bag of m&ms' i head to whole foods for these bad boys. because then i satisfy the chocolate craving and sneak a little fruit in a long the way: goji berries! (i also enjoy the chocolate covered mulberries). be forewarned: they are very expensive (like 4 dollars for a bag) but i don't get them everyday.

i love these chik'n patties. they make for such an easy lunch or dinner. put on a bun, bagel, or bread of any kind with a little ketchup, they satisfy the burger queen within. i despise (despise!!) any kind of faux meat products made from soy, which these are not. on a side note: if in new york city and in need of a good veggie burger i suggest 5 napkin burger or hillstone {known as houston's almost anywhere else in the country}.

i love the texture of barbara's oatmeal snackimals. animal crackers with a twist, i say!

remember when i made my infamous ice cream pie? i used four ice cream pints--three of which were stonyfield nonfat frozen yogurt. they taste quite good and the plain and vanilla and chocolate variety have only 100 calories per serving (meaning the whole pint is only 400 calories). now, let me be clear, i don't believe in counting calories--in fact, i loathe it and find it damaging. but when i bring a pint of ice cream home--there is always the chance i might eat the whole thing in one sitting (i know, i know, i'm working on it). but with these bad boys, when i eat the whole thing at least i know i haven't done some huge disservice to my body. 

have you had pop chips yet? i love them (most especially the sea salt and vinegar variety!). unlike most low calorie foods these bad boys pack a punch and don't leave that odd and elusive empty taste in your mouth.



alrighty, that's all for now. happy snacking! (ignore the strange layout--i struggle when working with small images).