giving thanks.
i spent the last four days shooting a short ten minute film. and so when i said i was heading into the belly of the beast of fear--it was in the best possible way. a really, really good forward (albeit, sometimes terrifying) movement.
and when it was all said and done, and as i took the long subway home from queens, i thought, i have no words for this. it was not the failure of words, nor their inadequacy--simply the absence of them. it was a calm and peace and utter stillness--a gratitude that filled me, of such depth as i've never felt before. gratitude for the countless mistakes and failures that led me to this moment. gratitude for a story that was not easy or simple and certainly not over.
perception
the other day i was talking with someone--doing (i'm sure) what i usually do where i tend to say too much and yet still remain ambiguous.
they turned to me, gave me a funny, little smile and said, you sure live an interesting life right now.
i'm quite sure it was meant to be a slight dig--a loving and friendly dig, but a dig nonetheless.
but i just smiled and thought, yeah, it is pretty interesting, isn't it.
and i'm so very proud that it's just that: interesting. and yes, odd.
a thought. a gorgeous thought. by rilke of course.
in quotes
"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
(the next few days i'm heading toward the belly of that fear so i beg your forgiveness for emails left untouched and the like.
oh yes, and happy weekend.)
remember when i tweeted that one of my new year's resolutions was going to be to finally start a book club...
well...
1. it's amazing that i tweeted anything at all, because--let's be honest--i'm not a champion twitter-er.
and 2. i'm thinking if i actually make good on my tweet, then good things will surely follow.
so mark it down:
book club
(yes, i'm calling it book club--just that--don't hate)
Sunday, February 13.
1:00 pm.
be there or be square.
if you're in new york city (or nearby), please come.
i don't want to hear any of this, oh i'm a stranger--she'll think i'm weird for showing up--yada, yada, yada.
nonsense, i'm inviting you. and i expect you to be there.
now the only question remaining:
what shall be our first read?
suggestions, suggestions... (please).
{if you will be able to attend
please email me for directions
and details.}
photo: my friend vicky took and then tagged me
this photo after posting it to facebook--
said it reminded her of me.
that simple though simply made my day.