small fries.

in

i almost started to cry yesterday, during work.

because working on a sunday is hard enough: i'm always most aware of my own family being elsewhere. and a not terribly near elsewhere, at that.

and because i've been working so much lately. and i've lost track of all days of the week. and i find i'm exhausted. all the time. and so my lenten resolution of keeping a clean living space has fallen by the wayside. and yes, yes, i know lent is over! but it turns out the resolution was quite helpful and kept me quite calm and so yes, i've decided to carry it into the rest of the year. after all, my corner castle is much more enjoyable when the bed is made and the trash is put away and i don't have dishes stockpiled on the bookcase.

and i meant to write this morning about man kryptonite, because i have indeed unearthed the thing and how cannot i not share that discovery? actually i've been meaning to write about it for a few days now--it's that exciting and dangerous--the power must be shared. but not today. perhaps, tomorrow? you'll meet me back here tomorrow for that? fantastic.

and i have little writing ideas typed into the notes sections of my iphone but that autocorrect was at it again leaving me with a note of no sense and i have this wily, little notion that the autocorrect transformed what i wanted to say into something of no meaning: Nick there in the evenings. that's what it says. but i have no idea who this nick character is or why i should feel the need to write about him?  nick, nick! are you out there? who are you?


oh goodness this post itself is a thing of no sense. i have a long day before me. of one job beginning at ten followed by the closing shift at another which ensures at least a twelve/thirteen hour work day (this thought may have been the one to bring tears to the brink last night). am i complaining yet? i'm good at complaining.

i know. small fries, this stuff. small fries. and not forever.

because there is so much good for which i can give thanks. for the sun casting it's glow over manhattan on this day. for the promise of a meeting with an old friend tomorrow. for the concert on friday. oh, yes, and my family and my health and on and on...

happy monday, then. non?

for my mother.

in ,
communion


i was not the little girl who grew up knowing i'd one day be a mother.

i was not the little girl who imagined my own little girl.

but this remarkable thing happened. after gradation i spent some time taking care of some wee ones, and as i read them stories i heard my mother's voice in my own.

i am not afraid of motherhood.

i am not afraid to be a mother.

i with great patience and anticipation await the day.

i have every confidence that i will meet that holy phase of my life with surprising resiliency.

because i had the most remarkable of mothers. because she created the way. gifted me a road-map. instilled within me all i will ever need to know.

and for that, along with countless other things, i bow down to her today. i give her thanks. and wish her the happiest of mother's days.

i love you, mom.




(ps: remember that time in third grade i made you a mother's day book in school and on the front cover i glued your head on princess diana's body? it was that i thought you'd look really great in that blue dress she had on).

what i'm eating.

in ,



avo on toast

green monster

chips

arugula and capers

my jam

because i posted about ned this week, i thought it only fair to let you in on some of the small daily choices that keep me feeling satisfied and strong. 

i'm at point in the process of learning to eat well where my great focus is not calories or quantity, but the quality of the foods i put in my body. i want simple foods. vegetables and fruits. foods that are as unprocessed as possible.

spring and it's trademark warm weather is certainly allowing for some fresh and vibrant choices. what follows is something of a my spring-time playlist: 


1. avocado on toast. (or if you're feeling really adventurous, avocado + tomato + lemon juice + a sprinkle of salt {on toast}). this one is as easy as it comes, but a little concoction that i'll eat morning, noon, or night. i had it the first morning i arrived in australia two years ago and i've been eating it ever since. i'm almost always a sweet person, but in the morning savory is my jam, so i turn to this staple again and again. for bread i usually use those new 100 calorie bread rounds (whole grain, not multi grain) or ezekiel food for life (sold at your local trader joe's or whole foods). for me the lemon is the best part--the natural flavor and sweetness makes me think i'm eating nature's own version of candy.

2. green monster. i'm not a fan of this smoothie the way everyone else is. i don't love it. sometimes i don't even like it. but i tolerate it. because i know it's good for me. and i know that sometimes we have to eat things strictly because they're good for us. and if i can manage to start my day off with something so loaded in fruits and veggies i'm much more likely to make positive food choices all the live long day. made of spinach, banana, ground flax seeds (you gotta grind those suckers yourself each day for the best health benefits--let me suggest a free-standing coffee grinder which can be purchased for about ten bucks), and almond or rice milk.

3. potato chips (otherwise known as fries). potatoes are one of my most beloved staples. cheap and easy and pretty darn filling. lately i've been taking two small white potatoes cutting them nice and thing, mixing in a tiny bit of virgin olive oil and salt and baking at 400 until they start to crisp. serve with ketchup and voila, done.

4. arugula and capers. it should be known that despite my weariness regarding their appearance, my love for capers knows no bounds. and then there's arugula. the spicy, little firecracker of the lettuce family. together? my spring meal of choice. i dress in a tiny bit of a combination of olive oil and walnut oil (with lemon if desired) and salt. and if you'r feeling really adventurous, add toasted pine nuts.

5. cookie crumble concoction. i will forever be indebted to uncle eddie's cookies. their chocolate-oatmeal-walnut flavor is the best i've ever tasted--and i've tasted a lot. to this day, i can't bring a bag of eddie's cookies home because i lose all control (i eat the bag all at once, one sitting). but what uncle eddie really gave me was the knowledge that vegan baked goods can be incredibly good. so i went about attempting to make my own. and so i made banana bread and raw cookies and a version of the girl scout somoa. this last thing was not my great triumph--it was a tricky, little recipe that produced something resembling brittle. that being said, this week i came up with my own little free-standing cookie mix that is a cross between almond-joy and the samoa. ready? okay: in a food processor put raw cashes, raw almonds, a ton of uncooked rolled oats, a small amount of coconut oil, agave (and vanilla should you so choose). if you're feeling really adventurous add in unsweetened coconut flakes and ground flax seeds for amped-up health benefits. i eat the mixture as a crumble as opposed to fashioning it into cookie bites or balls because that consistence allows for less oil and agave. put in a cup with a few vegan chocolate chips and it's heaven--truly, the best thing i've ever made. i'm at the point now where i just eye the proportions, but next go round i'll try to measure it out and give you all a proper recipe. for now the most important thing to say is that i put more almonds than cashews (it's a heart healthier nut and adds tropical texture).

some tunes for the morning (and some hair help. yes, hair).

in

i know i've been posting a lot of music videos.

and i know this might annoy you.

but the thing is.

it's like i'm 16.

living in the '60s. and having just discovered rock 'n roll.

and my rock n' roll is youtube. youtube, i tell you!

so bear with me, okay.

but also this post exists because i need advice--opinion--encouragement...

i've been ooshing for a haircut. and the girl in the video at 27 seconds (in the polka dots)...yay, nay? could i pull off that short hair? because i kind of love it. but i don't know if have the guts. or the bone structure.