today i'm taking for myself.

in


today my good girlfriend sam and i are off to see these guys.
and have vegan pizza beforehand. (sam knows all the coolest places in nyc).

before any of that happens i'm treating myself: making my bed. big latte. perhaps a manicure? and wandering around a new york city inundated with cool, fresh air.

sometimes i have to remind myself that when i get a day off, it's not just a day off, it's a day off in a city that people from all over the world come to see. so...day-stay-vacay. or something.

sunday night, picture box.

in
kitchen


every once and again when the apartment is filled with cool air rolling in off the hudson, and all the lights are off, i pass by the doorless kitchen and have the thought, yes, that's the life i'd like to live one day. followed quickly by, yes, that's the life i'm living.

and then there's the hanging realization that life is full, already terribly full. and pregnant with possibility. and it feels like it's all getting a bit closer. the space between the now and all that i've ever dreamed of.

the gap is closing. and i'm simply along for the ride. and as long as i live fearlessly, it will arrive.

(easier said than done, of course. but the pursuit sure is a hell of a good time).

in



among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and sickened by human behavior. you're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. you'll learn from them--if you want to. just as someday, if you have something of offer, someone will learn something from you. it's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. and it isn't education. it's history. it's poetry.

the catcher in the rye
j. d. salinger