my manhattan: the one with my mother in it.


red and green

red brick

mother daughter

guggenheim

garden center

epistrophy

chocolate

black and white cookie

hanging flowers

little cupcake bakeshop

little italy

sorbet!

the best thing about having my mother in town are those moments when sailing in a cab up the westside highway she points out the pier where she and my father had their first date. and then launches into the story about how they thought it'd be a small private party but it ended up being six thousand people (six thousand very lush people). or when walking down madison avenue she notices the william greenberg bakery and suddenly she's a kid in a candy shop (or quite literally, bake shop) remembering how when she first married she took a baking class where they worked through mr. greenberg's recipes and the cinnamon buns! she surely remembered the candy that is those cinnamon buns! 

there are other good things too. little things. shared subway rides. lovely meals. a respite on a park bench. 

the problem is....well, when she leaves...or after my father has visited, or when i've spent some time at home in texas, or in coming back from a visit with my brother in boston...

the subway rides feels longer. the bags that i tote around all day feel heavier. work is a bit less important. everything feels just ever so much harder.

but that doesn't mean i'd trade the visits and respites and vacations for anything in the world. 

for my mother.

communion


i was not the little girl who grew up knowing i'd one day be a mother.

i was not the little girl who imagined my own little girl.

but this remarkable thing happened. after gradation i spent some time taking care of some wee ones, and as i read them stories i heard my mother's voice in my own.

i am not afraid of motherhood.

i am not afraid to be a mother.

i with great patience and anticipation await the day.

i have every confidence that i will meet that holy phase of my life with surprising resiliency.

because i had the most remarkable of mothers. because she created the way. gifted me a road-map. instilled within me all i will ever need to know.

and for that, along with countless other things, i bow down to her today. i give her thanks. and wish her the happiest of mother's days.

i love you, mom.




(ps: remember that time in third grade i made you a mother's day book in school and on the front cover i glued your head on princess diana's body? it was that i thought you'd look really great in that blue dress she had on).

a week at home. just not long enough.

cape cod

dinner

pasta

dinner2

stella

stlla sola


new york's winter this year was so long and so hard that i began to pine for time in texas months ago--my body literally craved it. so i gave myself a week. a whole week. and yet i blinked and it was over.

i wish i could bottle the time. stretch it. make it last. but as quickly as it goes there is no way to measure the value of dinners at home or time spent in the car with my mother--trying out the restaurant of my father's choosing, or just perusing large air-conditioned stores.

last night we invited our dear, dear friends maria and gail over for dinner (maria took care of me when i was just a wee of a thing). maria took a look at me, tilted her head, and in her lilting italian accent asked if i'd fallen in love. it was the loveliest compliment.

maybe time at home, dinners outside, time with the people you love most in the world--maybe those are the next best things to actually falling in love. i can't wait for that day when they all intersect.

weekend in boston.

i apologize for the dearth of posting around here. i've hit the winter-has-gone-on-far-too-long-funk. 

that's it.

that's the whole of the explanation i can offer up.

but this weekend i've been in boston visiting my brother and attempting to overcome the winter blues. and i must say what a difference it has made...it certainly doesn't hurt that we saw a brilliant concert by my personal favorite, the head and the heart and then drove to new hampshire sunday morning for a day of skiing.

my camera powered off about two minutes into sunday, but for now i'll leave you with these.

church

in the living room

back bay windows

mantel

corn cakes

connor at parish cafe

lunch

loving on scout

blue skies

berry wreath