the perfect body initiative. day eleven.

July 21, 2009 in the perfect body initiative

why is your body perfect?

I have a perfect body because my back supports all parts of me... even my hopes and dreams.

Michal

Describing Details of Absolutely No Importance

i must apologize. i have fallen behind. (as well as off the bandwagon). and as i try to climb back on i have taken such comfort in the responses you all have given. so thank you, thank you, thank you. all of you. thank you for reminding me each and every day of just how "perfect" we all are.

an open letter. to the bandwagon.

July 18, 2009 in ned

dear bandwagon,

i'm sure that falling off you must be very important in the recovery process. so that one can figure out how to get back on. quickly.

this knowledge doesn't make the attempt to get back on any easier.

that's what the past five days have been about. trying to get back on.

last night i bought myself two large cupcakes from crumbs. and vanilla ice cream. i allowed myself to enjoy it. all of it. (okay, okay, so i felt sick after the first cupcake and only got a bit into the second one before throwing it away all together--damn, there goes $3.75).

and then i went to town. and began to clean my room.

i should know by now that my mental health is directly tied to just how clean my room is. and to how well my nails are manicured.

i swiffered. and bawked at the amount of dust on the floor.

i found a hidden pile of clothes that had missed going to the launderer by mere minutes. damn, again.

i cleaned out my google account. too many unanswered, unopened emails.

and attempted to respond to some comments. note for anyone reading this: i am the worst. the worst at responding to comments or accepting awards. this does not mean that i don't love them with every ounce of love i have to give. i do. i love them all. i live off of them. i drink them in like the lemon-line flavored bubble water that i have grown to love. wait. hold it. actually, i love them like the lemon-lime seltzer water and the occasional diet coke that now tastes like sweet nectar of the gods.

and this morning i woke as early as i could. 8:30 to be exact.

pulled back my curtain and drunk in the cool summer breeze.

pulled out the coffee i bought yesterday. westside market french roast. to replace the folgers that just wasn't cutting it. whole beans, i bought, yesterday. not ground. oooohhhhh. okay. breathe in. breathe out. folgers it is.

no worries.

and then i cleaned my mac keyboard. my grimy fingers do a number on those poor keys.

and can i tell you something? now, as regina spektor plays on the stereo and the cool breeze infiltrates this once-boiling apartment, i know that today will be better. a clean (well, clean-er) room will do this to me. and i will pull down a good book from the shelf today--and the book will help. enormously.

i'm off to make myself two eggs with cheddar cheese. protein please.

and then off to work where i'll spend much of my morning cleaning up the mess of someone else. and as i scrub the tables i'll list (in my head) all those things that i'm good at. i may be disposable (at my current job) but i'm very good at a very many things.

and if by some strange twist i later run into the boy that i have a crush on. and he is something less than friendly (despite, my attempts at kindness) i will console myself by remembering that it's his thing, not mine.

those eggs are calling. i'll see you soon--because, bandwagon, it's only been a few days, but i've missed you.

meg, meg, meg

things to do in nyc: check craigslist for missed connections

July 16, 2009 in Tourist in NY

so, okay, actually...you can do this from anywhere. but log onto craigslist and under the personal section click on missed connections.

i'm sure this exists in other cities as well, but it feels like such a part of new york lore. missed connections is a place where people post chance encounters hoping for a second chance--in some ways it's like a postsecret regarding like/infatuation/love with the hope of a response.

And inspired by the fleeting connections between total strangers artist Sophie Blackall is creating beautiful works of art...

what do you think? would you ever post a love note to a complete stranger?

images via this amazing website.

oh to look like someone else. just for a day.

July 15, 2009 in Husband-To-Be, letter to husband-to-be

dear husband-to-be,

i'm afraid this will be a very serious letter. you see, i need you to understand something.

my looks belie who i really am.

does that make sense?

i look like i would love to spend an evening at the opera. i would not.

i look like i might really like a swanky jazz bar. mmm...not really my thing. if you could find an off-the-beaten-path beatnik pub with some jazz on the side...that i could do.

i prefer a ball game to almost anything else.

i will always order a cheesburger. and i'm a cheap drunk.

i laugh. a lot. out loud. at the most inappropriate of times.

and when we go to the beach, you'll have to drag me out of the water at the end of the day. i will not be the one working on my tan.

i look like i could be a politican's wife. and i could be. i could play that part really well.

but that is not the part i want to play.

i am not perfect. i am a screw-up in the most glorious of ways.

you see, i want to have a ping-pong table in the dining room.

and i'll still climb a tree. or hurtle down a hill on a sled.

i'm not the girl you think i am, when you first glance at me.

it's strangely frustrating.

but i refuse to change who i am to conform to what i look like.

and if on that first glance, i come off as cold, it's simply because i'm shy and quiet and totally, madly in love with you. already.

so please don't be intimidated by some idea of me. i'm flighty and i lose everything. and i'm funny. really, i am. at least, i think i am, and that's something, right?

and i still have this old-fashioned belief that the guy should make the first move.

so please, do. make the first move.

you might just be surprised by what you find.

love, love, love,

the woman who is not the woman you first assumed i was (but it's okay, even my friends still make silly assumptions, and they've known me for a while)