So yesterday I was talking with my glorious friend Viv (shout out!). No, but seriously--she's so great, so gorgeous. She's one of those people that walks into a room and just seems to float or bounce, I'm not sure which--it's one of those things that you can't even put a name to because its just that fantastic. Tangents be damned, what I'm trying to say is that I love having her in my life because she's a marvel--beautiful, talented beyond measure, the kind of person you spend your life trying to emulate. Okay, back to the point...we were talking on the phone and she asked me if it had sunk in that I wasn't going back to school. And seeing as its the first fall in as long as I can remember that I'm not going to school one would think I would have thought about this.
But I hadn't.
Not until she mentioned it.
And then I started thinking...and the thing is what saddened me is not the idea that I'm not going back to school now or ever...but rather the idea that I'll never be eight years old going back to school. I miss the cheap, plastic, faux patent leather 101 Dalmatians backpack. I miss choosing a lunch box: Lion King or plain purple with the purse strap? I miss pogs. I miss Magic cards (though I never played, but Connor did). I miss sleepovers where we would stay up all night playing video games. I miss the boxcar children books. I miss sick days. And birthday parties and my mom walking me to school in the morning. I miss the playground, most especially the tire swing. I miss field trips and tea parties. Goodie bags and live "wax museums". I miss the mandatory first day of school picture. I miss (and god I never thought I'd say this) hearing engines of our ingenuity on NPR as my mom drove me to school. I miss uniforms and take home folders. I miss book fairs and field days. Reading hour and goldfish. God, what I would give to be in elementary school again where after school play dates and 1-2-3 jello were the norm. Ahh...life.
That all being said...I've been wishing on 11:11 (you know that old clock superstiton) for quite some time now (no pun intented. well, maybe it was kinda intended). Anywhoo, a few days ago I looked at the clock, saw the wishing hour and had nothing to wish for. Don't get me wrong--there are plenty of things I would like to change about my life...I'd love to have more auditions and a real life theatre job and more money coming in than going out...but all these things (these wishes) are means to an end. That end being happiness. And guess what, I'm happy. So I figure if I'm happy, which I am, then eventually all other things will fall into place. So 11:11, right now, I don't need you. Life is good.
P.S. I really miss trick or treating. I would always get the costume magazine just a month before my birthday and then I'd begin the campaign to get that perfect get-up. One year I was Belle and my friends...I looked good.