Names have been changed to protect the innocent (or the guilty).

I once met a man (no, no, not that way). He was a friend of a friend. Who helped us in many ways. One of the ways being that he lend me a blanket when I first moved into my apartment. I know that I should have returned it as soon as I was finished. Well...lesson learned. Instead, I washed it and put it away in a suitcase for storage.

So while I was in Connecticut I received this email:

Hello Meg,

So good to see you last week.
Hope your new job is working out.

My cousin and her 5 year old niece are coming for a few days next week and will sleep on the sofa.
Are you still using the blue bedspread I lent you when you first moved in?

If not, could you toss it in the wash (no smelly stuff...they are allergic) and leave it by my door by 5 pm Sat?

Also, I think you still have my small silver hammer somewhere.

Thanks lots,

Received Friday at 12:33 am

Not wanting to deal with it (I had more important things on my plate) I responded Saturday morning at 10:32 via my phone.

Sorry I'm just now responding. I'm in ct for my grandmother's funeral--i'll call angela and get her to get the blanket-it's already been washed.

He then sent me an email at 12:59 pm

Dear Meg,

So sorry to read of your grandmother's passing.

I am sure she was very proud of you. 
Let me know if I can do anything here, I am good at ordering food and piano playing.

The bedspread is not important, I have plenty of blankets. 

Hope your family is making you happy.


At 4:30 Mark showed up to the apartment. When Angela opened the door he began searching for the said bedspread by opening all my drawers and cabinets. Angela called me and I called her back Saturday evening informing her of the blanket's location. However, it was placed precariously and I promised I would get it Sunday morning when I returned. However, since Mark had assured me it was not a big deal, I was not too worried.

Sunday at 11:58 am I received the following email:

Hello Meg,

Angela and I looked in your apt and could not find the blanket.

She also phoned you.

Please phone her back and ask her to bring it upstairs soon.

Thank you,
J-4 (his apt. number--as if I didn't know)

What happened to: don't worry about it--I have plenty of blankets?

This is all to say that there are crazy people in this world and I don't want them in my life. Needless to say, I returned the blanket and hammer immediately and have no intention of ever borrowing anything from him. Ever again.