reason #567 how you know you're living in nyc and still figuring your life out

dearest mother and father,

my birthday is coming soon. remember how i asked for that beautiful purse? forget it.

please send the most durable bed-bug protector covers you can find along with a high quality vacuum.

and don't be surprised if i ask for new bedding come Christmas time. 

this morning, in between the snooze button pushes, i dreamt of the bugs. and then i woke to find one on my bed. 

right now i would very much like to be rescued. 

your daughter