i met a guy when i was eighteen.
i had just graduated from high school.
was being treated like an adult for the first time.
and this guy liked me.
and i remember lying in bed thinking, well, i should just go for it. i should have the experience.
and i made the decision to like him. because i thought such decisions were possible.
and for a wee bit of time the delusion held.
but just for a bit.
because before long i learned such things as like and love are never decisions. but inevitables.
he lived uptown. i visited his apartment twice? maybe.
and he handed me a key.