someday i'll look back on all of this and laugh. i will laugh, yes?

i need someone to explain it to me.

that thing that happens.

when you like someone. from afar.

and suddenly you have never flirted before. never in your life.

never begun a conversation.

never dared to smile.

these things have never happened, not once. or...well, you can't imagine how they might have...ever, because they are certainly not possible now.

you are inept. in every possible way.

a mute.


bereft of all courage and knowledge.

one might call me a lively conversationalist. and one might be right. i am. (occassionally). given enough time and enough courage, i most definitely am. and i can smile and toss my hair as well as the girl next to me. but in the presence of the smallest inkling of desire i am...


and why is this? someone explain this. please, please explain this.