my wish.

this is what i want to say to you:

just for tonight, let's be happy.

just for tonight let's forget about all that's come before. gloss over the fissures, smile from that small store yet untouched by sadness. just for tonight let's take a cab home, sit close and revel in whoosh of summer's fading air.

and if we have to go moment by moment, breath by breath we will--if that's all we can manage, so be it. if all we can do is the three feet in front of us, then we'll take those three feet together.

just for tonight.

just for tonight smile. just for tonight let me get a good look at those laugh lines ringing your eyes. just for tonight let me see how many times i can make you swallow a snort.

i could tell you it all gets better. i could tell you there's meaning in all of this and that the how are you's won't always feel like scythes cutting through fields of tall grass. and i could do my very best to reach in and pull you out--and i'd have some pull, i would, having been there before, a near native of the murky depths of that great, big blue. but it wouldn't be fair. there is a power in the floundering--the ocean salts do heal. so i won't try to. i'll head to the shore and go about the forward motion this life demands.

but before the floundering, before the blur, before the sinking and pulling, let's take tonight. to levitate. to be fifteen and carefree and pay no mind to what comes next. to kiss with the space between our toes--to hold hands and have that be enough.