a thought on which to end the week. (and to carry forward forever more).

Meg Fee New York City Food  

i have come to learn (the hard way, always the hard way) that there comes a point in fledgling romantic endeavors in which i become just-attached-enough that i start. to lose. my mind.

fear takes hold and my deepest insecurities take root and a very small and very ugly version of myself emerges--a woman who acts out of fear and need.

and the sight is. not. a pretty one.

and what ends up happening is the very things the men were first attracted to get strewn about in the wake of my...terror.

there's a line from one of my very favorite Avett Brothers songs that i often think about:

If you're loved by someone you're never rejected. 

how satisfying it is to be adored by a person. how seductive. it is grounding. a lightening rod of sorts that harnesses the big and scary and unmanageable things and drags them down to earth. makes everything a bit more doable.

but in the absence of that adoration--in the absence of that person, we must be our own lightening rod.

and i suspect, even with another person, we must constantly remember that on our own, alone, we have the ability to ground ourselves.

i came across this earlier in the week and wanted to share. it is a father's letter to his little girl (about her future husband):


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i can't get this out of my head (nor do i want to): your only task is to know deeply in your soul--in that unshakeable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego--that you are worthy of interest...If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word. 

what powerful (dare i say, holy words). easier said than done, of course. but man do i want to strive to be that person.

read the full letter here.