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Meg Fee

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want and fear

February 29, 2016
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In singing class at school we had a teacher who said, your want has to be bigger than your fear. 

Mine never was.

Singing in front of people always felt like standing naked at the front of the room. (And this was at a time when the very notion of naked was fraught, to say the least). 

This year has been remarkable, already. Mostly because I have developed a new philosophy: if you're scared, you must do it. If you fear the phone conversation, you must have it. If sending the email is terrifying, then send it. You must write the emails and open the attachments and go on interviews and sit down in front of the white blank screen more times than you can count. You must be as honest and kind as you possibly can, even when it would be easier to walk away, or say nothing at all. Because, the thing is...doing those things, changes things. Doing those things moves your life forward. Doing those things is--and leads to--remarkable.

But it feels important to say, that in doing them now, my want is still not greater than my fear, but my determination or grit or well, whatever you want to call it has finally arrived to the party. My fear is large, my lack of courage abounds, but I'll be damned if those things keep my life small. So now I do the thing that scares me most, and I feel the fear the whole damn time, and I simply keep going. 

Because I don't think your want does have to be larger than your fear. It's just that, part of growing up means, fear is no longer a good enough reason not to do something.  

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