sitting in church on thursday night i got this craving--a full-body calling.
to go to rome.
and sit in the cool, dark churches.
to saturate myself in the history of my religion.
to begin at the beginning.
the very beginning.
the ritual: incense. sign of the cross. prostration before the alter.
to feel God.
but not to pray.
to sit and listen.
to kneel and listen.
to stand humbled before the yawning eclipse of eternity and listen.
and to allow the answer to erupt before me.
to give a direction to this directionless life.
but because i cannot go to rome.
i bought a fresh copy of beach music and called it a day. (or at least a start).