dearest self,

it's snowing today. and world is turning white. becoming new again. and you're okay.

you know that, right? that you're okay.

i know. i know this is so hard. that it has been for some time now. and it's okay to cry. and to be lonely. but i want you to know that you have so much to look forward to. that so much good is just around the corner. and everything, all of it, will have been worth it.

i smile as i write this, because i am so excited for you. for all that you have yet to experience.

life is funny. isn't it. it doesn't turn out at all like you expect. it's better. you can't see that yet, but trust me.

there are a few things i need you to know. first, you don't hate new york. i know that you think you're beginning to. you're just lonely and the city isn't terribly forgiving when it comes to this. second {and this will the most important thing i'm going to tell you} you have to reach into your resources and pull out some courage. you need to find a new job. you don't have to go back to acting right now. you don't have to ever go back if you don't want to (and i'm not going to spoil the surprise by telling you if you do). but it's time to move on. you need to find a job that you can take pride in. you are capable of so much more than cleaning tables and managing lists. and okay, so maybe your next job will be answering phones and that's okay (just make sure that the answering phones is a means to an end--choose a job with the potential for upward movement).