sometimes i wish i smoked. just for the hell of it. just for the flagrant imperfection and impropriety the very act signals.

most of the time i wish i'd stop apologizing. for my thoughts and my actions and the pursuit of those things that actually make me happy. for my love of that which rings the fringe.

i wish i was bolder and less afraid. wish i more easily settled into my own skin i am in new situations. which i acclimated faster. wasn't such a late bloomer.