what i'm eating. (the expanded addition). day one.

not long after graduating college a good girlfriend turned me on to a blog: the actor's diet. the whole premise behind the blog was to show in a real way what an actor ate day-by-day. 

what i took away from lynn's blog is that here was a woman who had struggled for years with eating issues and she had moved past disordered eating by...actually eating. and she felt good, felt beautiful, and had a slim, healthy body that she empowered her when walking into auditions. 

i remember looking at her blog all those years ago and thinking, wow, this girl actually eats! she eats quite a bit! in truth, she eats a totally normal amount (but it seemed so much more than the amount i thought i needed to eat to lose weight {1,000 calories, it turns out, doesn't look like so much--mostly because it isn't}).

i always bristle when reading magazines or health articles that say you can lose weight while eating a hamburger, can you believe it?! or a square of chocolate won't undo everything, so go ahead, indulge!!

it is my deep-seated belief that you can lose weight eating anything. all in moderation. yes, stay away from processed foods and choose fruits and veggies when possible, but a hamburger isn't the worst thing in the world. 

the same friend who introduced me to the actor's blog suggested that i do something similar: reveal what i eat as a way of providing some information. 

i've been hesitant because i don't want anyone to look at this and think it's a roadmap. someone else may eat exactly what i eat and have a totally different experience. eating is an experiment. you have to find what works for you. and that means trial and error and a little failure. because at the end of the day it's not really about food, is it? loving one's body is about loving one's self. and the more you love your self the more your body rolls with the punches. the more forgiving it becomes and the more it works to give you exactly what you've always wanted. 

for one week (just one week, i promise) i will endeavor here to show you what i eat. please, take it with a grain of salt. it's my way of saying you don't have to have your coffee with low-fat milk to have a happy body. and you don't have to cut out nachos. in fact you can have full-fat milk and grilled cheese sandwiches and a piece of chocolate cake and wake up each morning feeling better than you did the day before. 

what i'm going to attempt to show is the anti-diet. the take-much-of-what-you've-been-told-and-turn-it-on-its-head lifestyle.

day one: wednesday

i have a latte more often than i'd like to admit. not because i'm ashamed of the drink, but because of the cost associated with it. i take mine with either soy milk or full-fat whole milk. i don't add sugar, but a a hefty-shake of cinnamon keeps me in good stead. 

for a while there i experimented with a vegan way of life. but it was an experiment. and what i came away with is that right now, it's not for me. most mornings i have two eggs (full eggs, not just the egg whites), full fat cheese, on either one or two slices of spelt bread. spelt was a bit of an acquired taste--but now i'm smitten with its nutty flavor. 

one of the things that i don't particularly love about my life right now is that i often leave home knowing i'll be gone for hours and hours and hours upon end. yesterday was a rare day in which i packed lunch/dinner. pumpkin filled ravioli with a little bit of olive oil and salt + a slice of spelt bread with a hefty bit of peanut butter. 

one of my absolute favorite salads is arugula with toasted pine nuts (you must toast them--the flavor is so much better!), capers, and a bit of oil (i use olive mixed with walnut). it's so simple, but i tell ya, it packs a punch. 

when i arrived home at just after one in the morning (yes) i made myself some nachos. yes, i ate nachos at one in the morning and there wasn't a lick of guilt anywhere in sight. tortilla chips, refried beans, cheddar cheese, and jalepenos. all washed down with soda water. this photo makes it look totally unappealing, but don't be fooled. it was darn good. 

(the only things not pictured were some salted almonds i had at work and a few handful of reduced-fat cheeze-its. i do not believe in reduced-fat anything. i think foods should be consumed in their whole form. but that's all that was there and i got hungry during the course of my six hour shift. sometimes you gotta take what you can get). 

don't worry, this blog isn't about to become one on which i'm constantly revealing what i eat. and then showing you how thin i am. this is not meant to be a guide to nutrition nor a this-is-how-to-get-thin series. this is just my way of combating all those 1,500 calorie a day segments in the health magazines in which the food is all so darn "healthy" and always leaves me feeling bad about myself. 

just a week. another experiment. because my body--my health is still, very much a work-in-progress.